Holy Hell...that was disasterous!

Well holy fuck....i dunno what to say about saturday night....or where to start...uhm, well, Hayley had a house party and I went with some people...ended up in the ditch even before we got there cuz there was so much ice on the road...anyways, managed to get myself out, i guess god was on my side, got to her house. It was a really small party about 10 people were there but it turned out to be quite the party. I ended up making really really stong ceasars and i was drinking them all night, and i also drank a half a bottle of wine by myself, so in the end i drank most of a 2-6 of vodka by myself...impressive i guess. Met a lot of people, and did a lot of shit. But lots of shirtless girls, lots of random making out with shirtless girls. According to people the next morning I made out with every single girl but one, and I was also told that I am a very good kisser. Indeed. Uhm, yeah, there are some things i would really like to forget, and other things that I did forget. Ah well. But hey, that was probably by far the most outrageous i have ever been at a party. I really don't want to drink that much again for a little while. Ah well. The morning after was fine too, no hang over, and to see some of the pictures that were taken that night....well...i will post them when i get my hands on em! anyways, that was a fucking insane night, and i must be off. Ciao!

Adventure seems to follow me!

So...where do i even start....
uhm...well....how about almost ending up in Waterton National Park while trying to get from Lethbridge to Calgary....yes, i made a wrong turn off, and no one in the car notcied i did, and so I ended up driving through Pincher Creek and almost into the mountains, and then we realized we were heading the wrong directiona dn went to some random person's house and asked them how to get to Calgary...the look on their faces was priceless....Hahaha! Oh, and I didn't have a map in my car either to make things even better...so with that bump in our road, we turned around, had to go back to Fort McCloud and then get into the right highway...and I ended up doing 170 all the way back to Calgary, it was fucking nuts...I went from Fort McCloud to Calgary in under an hour and a half...yeah, that was fucking good time. Then I headed off to Tequila for a bit, had a good time, did a fair amount of dancing and talking to people. Had a good time, then I headed over to Detours for kink. Yes, i did in fact dress up I guess one could say, as I went as a drunken College dude who stumbled into another dimension....if that makes any sense. Ran into Melissa and Dianna and talked with them for a while, and danced for a while as well. The Cinderella show they did there was fantastic, it was great. Managed to spill beer all over my new jeans....YES! MY JEANS ARRIVED! I was so happy to wear them! Oh, and at Tequila, I had my ass grabbed so many different times, by so many different girls, it was fucking awesome! Anyways, spilled beer all over my jeans, danced on the dance floor for a bit, Melissa's outfit was fantastic...and so was her whip :P ! Haha, that metal whip was great! Anyways, people left, and Mala disappeared for a bit, and then found her, ran into Mark and Arlene as well...was surprised that she remembered my name. Danced some more, and then we left, met my friend Hayley at Tequila, and we were off. Mala went home, and then Hayley and I went to Dena's and ended up smoking a shit load of weed. I was stoned outa my mind...did a Hawaiin Hotbox and that was cool, except I had way to much weed and had to back out of it early. So I went back and sat down and just rambled on about nothing in particular, but everything seemed so funny, but sadly i can't remember any of it and why it was so funny. Ah well, I also managed to make myself into a complete ass hole as well, so that was grand. And I finally fell asleep after Dianna and Kristin left, and the sunw as just starting to come up, so i guess i was up fairly late, or early... And that was Friday night...i can only imagine what tonight will be like...

What the hell were we on?

Mala was raped by a moose, and called me at midnight and the only sound she made was that of a moose in heat...apparently there was some Family Dominatrix stuff going on between the family members on the Simple Life last night according to Dena. And finally, my liver has been replaced with an alarm clock...so that's explains a lot now! Thank you Melissa for that keen observation...anyways, complete nonsense, yet complete sense...i can't remember the last time i laughed so hard as last night. Oh, and I downloaded the Phantom Movie soundtrack, and to make everything all the more funny, La Carlotta was singing a solo when there were raping moose, domineering families, and liver replacement going on. How peculiar...yet...how fitting...i think i lost my mind...right...and now i am just rambling....ciao!

Nonsense? or Complete Sense?

This was said to me earlier tonight....does it make complete sense? or does it make no sense at all. I think it is bang on, but i will leave that to the philosophers...

Andrew: And since when am I technical?

Melissa: hmmm.... since we replaced your liver with an alarm clock?

so...yeah...i have no liver, it was replaced with an alarm clock...perhaps that is why i am actually making it to class these days on time! first time since....since....grade 2? anyways, i am exhausted and now I am no longer making any sense...cheers and ciao yo!

Pause for thought

Dude, I couldn't live without food.

Fools!

Haha~! Fools! All of you!

Bored...

I am so fucking bored...economics sucks shit....sooooooo dry...
bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored...i'm so fucking bored...can't ya tell? and.....Bing! Class is over...Praise the Gods, I didn't go too insane today...yet that is, only another two more classes...please send over those killer ninjas now to kill me...please put me out of my misery!

These guys are awesome! Hahaha, rock on!

Unbelievable!!!!!

That was a fucking awesome show! I just saw sum 41 with a friend and wow, we both had an amazing time. The concert itself was awesome, the music was hard and fast, and i haven't moshed like i did since May when Bif played Mac Hall. It was complete and utter musical chaos, and I loved it! The vocals were smashing, the lyrics were damning, and Bush was once again the forefront of mockery! Hahaha, way to be! The only regret of the evening was that I didn't go crowd surfing...i am actually kicking myself at the moment, I always love going up, but tonight I didn't. What was wrong with me? Came within inches of a drum stick...but missed out in the end. But hey, I had a grand time moshing...hahaha, it was nuts...the way a rock concert is meant to be like. Then after the show, Andrea and I had to walk past the tour buses to get to my car, and then the idea hit us, why not meet the band? And so, we waited for a bit, but in the end...we reached our goal! We met all the members of Sum 41, Deryck was, well, shy...and not to mention really short...only got his autograph. Stevo was cool, he stayed and chatted with us for a good ten minutes, and got his autograph as well. Interesting thing about Cone though, I didn't recognize him right away and I thought he was with the other band, No Warning, so I kinda walked away, but then Andrea was up asking for his autograph, and then she came back and hit me and asked me why i missed his. And then I realized my mistake and began kicking myself. And then Brownsound, aka, Dave came by, he was really really nice. He's my favorite member of the band. Anyways, he went on the hunt for a sharpy on the tour bus and i asked him if he could get Cone to sign my little Canadian flag, and he said sure. So a few minutes later he came back out with my little Canadian Flag autographed...Yaaa! And then he talked with Andrea and Me for a good 15 minutes one on one....it was awesome. The guy is really nice and down to Earth. Talked about the Stampede, life on the road, the New York Show, the Montreal show from last week (which btw was Dave's favorite Canadian show to date, apparently it was fucking awesome) Talked with us about why we both missed the stampede show, and other insignificant stuff. Then he hugged Andrea, shook my hand, wished us the best of everything and then Andrea and I were off. Then as Andrea and I drove by, he waved to us from the window of the bus. Wow, he stayed and talked to us, that was sofa king cool! (sound it out!) Anyways, one of Andrea's dreams came true tonight which was awesome to see, and like yeah, Dave was really down to Earth. Tonight was amazing, dreams came true for some, others had an absolute blast, and I got to talk with one of my favorite bands! How much better could it get? Well...how about that Amy chic that I got to know while waiting for the band tonight, and talked straight for two hours with? Haha, we'll see where this goes, and she was hawt! H-O-T! Anyways, and that, as they say, is another story! I am exhausted, a good exhausted, but exhausted none the less, and I am also on cloud nine...haha...alright everyone, have a good one, ciao!

Who the hell do you think you are?

Do I really look that stupid? Asswipe. I am not going to fucking fall for that bull shit. The hell with all of you...I swear to I oughta....Fuck! Hahaha! To those fuck wits at Pinebrook, I am not going to come back if you only offer me a raise, i want cold hard cash, and a fucking raise before i will even consider working for you sons-of-bitches again. You call me up saying that if I return I will have my pay increased? Amazing, that's what you said last year last year, but never followed through. So, to answer yer question if I want to come back or not, well here it is...FUCK YOU! Now go blow a horse you wenches!

Hahaha...I just love it when I call upon the three unholy demons of cynicism, sarcasm and apathy...and I only employed them three times tonight...go team!

Where did the weekend go? It is already 2am on sunday morning, which means, only hours remain till i return to class...oh goody gum-drops! I really do need to slow down my life again...i can't remember the last time i saw my mom and dad. And the scary thing is I still live with em. Perhaps that is a sign I should slow down, oh wait, i last saw them thursday night. Wow. I have now realized how lucky i am to have the parents that I do. They grant me so much freedom to basically do what I want with myself. Hahaha, that's great. Anyways, i am exhausted, pinebrook is full of a bunch of ass fuckers, and that is no word of a lie either. They really are ass fuckers. All of them. Except for Vanessa, she's nice. And the Sheriff too. Right, this is Andrew signing off, thank you for tuning in for tonights episode. Ciao!

Back off!

Sometimes I just get the urge to kick people in the neck, or the teeth. Aggressive, maybe. Invirgorating, definately! Sadly enough I don't think that I have actually kicked anyone square in the neck, or the teeth for that matter. Maybe I will make that my new goal for the month...

Really now?

So apparently according to some people I am a Skanky Alcoholic...and I am not quite sure how to respond to that...

What's the point?

So after the events of last night, i couldn't help but wonder what the point of keeping an online journal/blog is? Honestly though, what is the point? I mean, we are not trully honest because we already know that word gets back to those around us, and usully that results in hurt feelings and such. Like what happened last night. But i mean, I enjoy writting out my opinions and feelings, that way I can really see where I stand when it comes to certain things. Weird? Perhaps, but it makes sense to me. I mean, I rarely ever talk about the people in my life, like what i think of them, and how i feel about them onn my blog. I don't even have another journal for that anywhere, which is weird but at the same time no. I don't feel the need or urge to write out how i feel about people, I am quite content with all of it in my head, and actually, people usually do know where they stand with me. Usually. And if they don't know, well, just ask. Or do something to piss me off and then see where we are after that. But as I say time after time, people come and people go, just enjoy the times you got to spend with them. Though, the truth be told, I am honestly scared of people leaving. I thoroughly like the people who are in my life these days, and I really don't want to drift away from them, whether they be the good friends i kept from high school that moved away, or the people I got close to over the fall and then subsequently moved off. Yes I seem all good with it on the surface, but thruth be known, on the inside I'm upset. I've moved away from friends many times before as a result of me being a military brat. But still, it doesn't make it any easier at all. And as I get older, I find that it almost hurts more and more each time. Ah well. Perhaps with everyone seemingly moving off somewhere, perhaps that is what is pushing me, no, driving me to get as far away from everyone as possible. Hence the reason I am so fascinated with living and working in Duha, Qatar; half a world away. But by that same token I would be so unbelievably lonely. I dunno. I need to find a balance. And I know i am just blubbering on at the moment, but I am not really sure where i stand with all of this yet. Ah! There is a point for my blog, to be honest with myself, to reveal my true feelings and thoughts I guess to myself, and whoever else really cares to read this. I originally started this thing trying to see how many people would actually visit my blog and hear what I have to say. But that then evolved into something much more i think. Not an extension of my life, haha, not that far, but a place for me to think about the events that go on around me. Ah well, i know this thing hasn't stopped evolving yet, it probably will eventually at some point, but not right now. I dunno, i guess I will just have to wait and see. Anyways, onwards I guess...but at the moment, I must be off for other things. Cheers and ciao. Have a good one.

In the end, it doesn't really matter?

What is it with our fascination with eternity, and life after death? Why are we so intrigued as a species with the concept of immortality and the thought of living forever. Whether in this dimension here on earth, or in another dimension in the so-called heaven or hell. Is it that we are just so insecure as a species overall that we need to place hope in a better life after this one? I mean, are we afraid of just ending like that when the fates cut our thread of life? Are we afraid of us just not existing anymore in any way or concious. It is a very daunting thought to say the least, and to some it is a very frightening concept. But sooner or later most come to terms with the prospects of there being nothing after we die, just, nothing. Yet others will never come to grips with even the thought of just ending. But that also raises the age old question of what if there really is 'life after death' What can we expect out of it? Is it the classical view of Clouds, and ornamental buildings where everyone wears togas and such. Or is it more like what is portrayed in "What dreams may come"? Where heaven is unique to each person and is created within their minds and then manifested physically around them? And then what of the Catholic Church's teaching of purgatory, where we spend time cleansing ourselves in fire before we move on to heaven, and then of course the concept of hell, which is so prevalent in Western Society, and a concept that has often been abused to further certain peoples personal intentions. For example the Catholic church. Or, what if we accomplish the mission we were sent out to fulfill and when it has been completed we at once become nothing, yet become everything at the same time. Moksha is what this idea is called, and it goes along with reincarnation. Ah! Now what of reincarnation! I know I am certainly fascinated by it, with the idea and concept, with Karma and Dharma. There are so many questions, and so many unanswered and unansweable questions, i guess the only way to trully be able to find out i guess, is to wait and see. Hmmm, life is grand, but death comes unexpectadly. Ah well, at least I feel comfortable with where I am, so if there is indeed something, then, I think I have taken out a pretty good insurance package for that, and if there is nothing, then, I am fine with that as well. As long as I know I lived a good life, whether long or short, it matters not. All I know is that I am happy with it, and I am happy with myself, and to me, that is all that matters. Especially in the end. Ciao everyone!

"The way I see it, Wendy, you only go around once."
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"Lately, everything has been getting on his nerves, Doctor. The credit people, the flooded basement, Mother's complaining about not getting enough zinc, Jimmy Carter. I just mentioned that our neighbour, Mrs. Uminiwitz, was going to split her big white peony, and it seemed to be more than he could take..."
- Thank you Geroge Booth for those ending comments
(I think he happens to be one of the best cartoonists of all time..again, in my own opinion)

WTF?!

Oh god, what the hell did i do! All i wanted was a free drink...*sobs* and now....and now....oh good god!

Paradise

Oh my...i just had a most warming discussion with someone on msn. It was extremely relaxing to say the least...

Imagine...rolling hills of black soil...on the summit of one of these hills is a beautiful light coloured stuccoed home with beautiful lime stone accents. a firey red tiled roof covers it all, warm to the touch, but none too warm. Grapes growing on the south side, olives on the north...a drive lined with trees seemingly pointing, reaching for the sky...fig trees surround the cobblestone patio...facing west towards the setting sun. Wheat covers the hills to the east and west. It is almost harvest time, so the crops are brown and ripe. The stalks bow gently in the warm soft breeze. And on it, the soft aroma of wild flowers and oats is carried. The horses shout out from the stables below, near by a creek bubbles along, tumbling over the rocks, seemingly laughing as it does. In the kitchen, all the windows are opened wide, the fresh smells of garden herbs seep inside from the carefully tended garden. There is a newly opened bottle of red on the counter, and freshly baked hand made bread to go with it...the tile floor is hard, yet soft to the touch because of the warmth that is exuded. The birds can be heard singing from their perchs in the figs through the open windows, yet outside the softly weathered chairs beckon. Sitting outside, legs perched over the side of the lounge chairs, the tuscan sun sets to the west, as a full moon rises in the east. This is paradise...

so, who else wants to hitch a one way ride there...oh my, with weather like this (-47C with the wind chill) i am up for it...screw calgary, i'll sleep in the fields there. Anyways, as a most fitting goodbye, i will bid you all with Ciao!

Dreams

So last night, i had yet another one of my odd dreams. And for some reason, I dreamed that I was Brad Pitt's nephew. Now how about that. Was quite weird really. Sitting around my kitchen table jsut all visiting, oh, and Jen was there too, she was really nice, and kept calling me sweety...riiiight. Anyways, and then some how Bif Naked heard that Brad and Jen were over, so she came knocking on my door (yes i know, this is getting odder and odder by the moment) and then we all went down to downtown calgary, and Bif and I were playing chicken on 9ave with some big semi's but the weird thing is, all i saw of it was as if someone was going through a photo album, so i heard the voices and the laughing, but it was not moving pictures, they were all still pictures...and they all were piling up on eachother. So very odd. And then we went back to my place and sat in the living room but now everything was back to moving pictures, like a movie again. But then Brad grabbed the back of my neck and was like doing that pressure point thing, but then Jen hit him...and told him to pick on someone his own size. Right. And then we moved into a discussion about cologne...yes cologne...man smell stuff. And then i like fast forwarded and my entire dream played out again, but this time all the "moving pictures" became still pictures, and all the still picture parts became moving pictures. And then i woke up because of that stoooopid fucking alarm. Ah well, it was a fun dream, one that i somehow remembered. The last dream i remember, i was on skies and was planning to ski to china across the north pole from banff. Now that was an adventure to say the least! And for some reason, the only song we could remember was lions and tigers and bears OH MY! so that was all that we sang on the way there. But i never made it there, cuz my stooooopid fucking alarm went off again! FUCK ALARMS I TELL YOU! I LIKE MY ADVENTURES WITHIN MY MIND! anyways, i am done. Cheers and Ciao! And Brad! You were the greatest Uncle ever! Hahaha, i'm such a dork!

The shaping of things

What a year its been, i am now only finding the time to actually be able to reflect on the year that passed. Well, 04 started off slow, but ended with a bang...the way things should be. Looks like this year will be just as thrilling and exciting as the previous one was. Anyways, the hell with resolutions, they're just a load of crockshit honestly. I could keep them, but I really don't see the point in changing when the calender year ends and a new one begins, i will change as i see fit. Why the hell do people make resolutions, especially if they know they're not gonna last through the end of February at the most? It seriously is a waste of time, and can be a waste of money for some. Ah well. Whatever floats yer boat i guess. But jsut give it a thought really, before going out and saying yer gonna change yer ways, just think if you really want those changes and if you really want to keep up with em. I mean, I could have said that I want to concentrate more on school and start lifting weights, and make that into a resolution, but i honestly know that I will not fit the time into my life to even pick up a bar bell, or sit on the floor and do crunches. I am not yet in a state where I am so unhappy that i want change. If the time arises where I feel the need to get bigger, well then by george i will chnge my habits and lift weights. But until then, the hell with resolutions. I could also say that I am gonna slow down with my social life...as if. I mean, I can't stand being at home on the weekend, it just isn't right, even without thinking i don't spend time at home. ie last weekend, went out with people to Coyotes, stayed the night at their place, got up, went to another friends place, and then from there went home, listened to some music, talked to a buddy, went to his place and drank and talked till 5 am. went home, and then slept. I mean, can without even realizing it myself, i am always off with someone somewhere, or I am off on one of my weird moods and driving or walking aimlessly around. But i would save hundreds of dollars each month if i just stayed at home. But nope, that ain't gonna happen. I could say, no more clothes for me, i have more than even my closet can hold...the hell with that....the more clothes the better...haha, i am such a fashion whore. Anyways, i don't understand people who make resolutions, especially if they know they are gonna be broken. Unless one is extremely determined to change themselves, i say the hell with it, you will know when you are ready for a drastic change like that. I mean, don't wait for new years, if you really want change, do it when you are ready both physically and mentally in order to be able to carry out the changes you want. Meh, that's just my two cents on the matter. But as I often say to people, "To each their own" so just do wahtever the hell you want to do, and don't make false promises to yourself, cuz in the end you will just end up disheartening yourself, and those around you who were rooting for you. If yer ready, go for it. Any ways, i am done. Have a good one all of you! Ciao.

What ever...really

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Andrew
2. Roo
3. Buddy
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. sir_rugo
2. roo
3. drew
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My hands
2. My creativity
3. My social life
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My ability to procrastinate
2. How lost i can get within my own mind
3. The inability to do math
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Canadian
2. British
3. French
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Rats
2. Spiders...especially big ones....gah...
3. Normal People
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Music
2. Water
3. A shower
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Pants
2. Slippers
3. Socks
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists(at the moment)):
1. Bif Naked
2. U2
3. Live
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Lightning Crashes - Live
2. Inside Out - Eve 6
3. What you waiting for - Gwen Stefani
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Absinthe
2. Sailing
3. A road trip
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Humour
2. Trust
3. Honesty
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I am the Alpha and the Omega
2. I like snow
3. My mother is Cindy Crawford
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Nice Eyes
2. Nice teeth and a good smile
3. Nice curves
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Math
2. Microwave a kitten
3. Eat blenderized Rat
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Designing homes
2. Music
3. Mysticism
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Go to Monaco
2. Get at Tattoo
3. Get a grand piano
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Architect
2. Furniture Designer
3. Interior Designer
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe
2. Australia
3. Asia
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Experience an African Safari
2. Sail around the world
3. Backpack through the Alps
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. I Don't
2. Really
3. Care

(x) - you've done
(_) - you haven't done
(?) - maybe...

(x) ever smoked marijuana
(x) been drunk
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(X) kissed a member of the same sex
(_) crashed a friend's car
(_) stolen a car
(_) been to Japan
(?) played mailbox baseball
(x) ridden in a taxi
(_) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(_) kicked someone's ass
(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex (does Brad count?)
(_) ever dated someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(_) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) stolen something from my job
(_) celebrated new years in time square
(_) (i guess this applies to me)gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(_) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
(_) slept with a co-worker
(_) been married
(_) gotten divorced
(_) had children
(_) seen someone die.
(_) been to Africa
(_) had a crush on one of my Dead journal friends
(_) Slapped someone I loved
(_) Driven over 400 miles to attend a show/festival/fetish ball
(?) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Thrown up in a bar
(x) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
(x) Been snowboarding
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
(_) been in an abusive relationship
(x) gone to college
(_) graduated college
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(_) met Bill Gates

Just Beyond Your Grasp

I never was, am always to be,

No one ever saw me,

nor ever will

And yet I am the confidence of all

To live and breathe on this terrestrial ball.

The beginning of eternity

The end of time and space

The beginning of every end,

And the end of every place.

The mood that passes through me

"I can feel it, coming back again, like a rolling thunder chasing the wind..."
So I am completely mellow at the moment, so much so that I think i feel a bit of depression moving in. Playing some lightning crashes by Live right now, and I seem to be just sinking lower and lower. I don'w know why. Life is good. Life is actually grand. But why do I feel this way? Like, wow. I can't remember the last time I felt this. Not bitter, but actually depressed. It pains me. How can i possibly go from such a high to such a low? This is rare, but when it hits...

*Disclaimer Note*

I am not suicidal.

I feel as though I am just floating through life.
Unfeeling.
Emotionaless
Nothing.
I feel nothing. Nothing to live for. Nothing to keep me going.
I live a very good life. I have awesome friends. Awesome Friends who love me, and whom I love in return. Though I do not say it to them. I really do love all of them. All of you.
But I mean, if I was struck down by a car tomorrow, I would not be upset if I died. I mean, I have accomplished everything I have ever wanted to do.
So why go on?
I feel like I am already dead. Cold. I feel this bubble within my chest right now, and as it rises, the pressure i feel increases, the emotional pressure that is. This emotion of nothing. Have I just shrugged things off for too long now? Is it all finally catching up to me?
No. No. No.
This is me. This is me at my most bare, my most susceptible. I am laying my soul out here at the moment. Yet through the clouds...I can see the sun. The bright rays are piercing the clouds. I can feel myself rising at the moment. Being elevated back up. The weight is lifting...going...dissipating.
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Higher and Higher i am flying now. People come and people go. Just remember the good times that have been shared. Yes, they may not be here in six months for whatever reasons, but just remember the good times that were spent together. The nights out. The heart to hearts. The plans that were made, the dreams that were molded. The sun will always come out again. The winter will always melt into spring. New life will sprout where old life was buried. It's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away. Haha...life is grand. I love it. Wow. I have been blessed with such an amazing life. Great Friends, Great Moments, Great Memories. And in the end, the fact that I lived a good life, a happy life is all that matters to me.
Anyways, there are some peopl whom I need to talk to. Ciao!

*There is a reason why this was called the mood that passes through me...this is how i live...Fleeting moments of deep emotion...both good and bad...*

**By fleeting, things may last half an hour while other things will last for months at a time**

Picture Blog...

Alright everyone who does read this...below this entry are a bunch of pics from Montreal, but I got a boatload more of pics now, and I intend on putting some of them...actually all of them up, so here is the link... http://drewspics.blogspot.com so now everyone can just view away! Ciao!

Out somewhere else in Montreal, i think this place was called Radio or something...I was too wasted to really care about names.

I have no idea who this girl is, and I have no clue when this picture was even taken...wow...i guess that's what happens when I drink a double whiskey, touch of pop, and lots of beer all in one drink....ouch...

New Years Eve Party again, with some random guy there...

New Years Eve party in some club in Old Montreal...wow, that was an absolutely awesome night, I met and talked to so many people, though nothing really became of anyone, the three of us had a blast. Oh yes, didn't get home till four in the morning, but hey, this was New Years, and in Montreal none the less!

Cameron and Me with some girl I met at Cheers...too bad I met here at closing, I really wish I ran into her earlier, but hey, such is life. No clue what her name is though...Claire perhaps?

Here is the three of us, from left to right it is Me, Cameron, and Melissa, this pic is from a lounge called the Lodge, hence the Log walls on the inside. Yeah, this was my first night out in Montreal, and I am somewhat proud, yet not proud to say that I really do not remember much from that night.

Melissa and I on New Years Eve, though the background is muddled, this is the Montreal City Hall, I'll post a better pic of soon.

Melissa and I, here we are in the Old city of Montreal. It was absolutely stunning there. I loved the vity, but it was Old Montreal that captured my heart.

Here is just one of the many pics that I am going to put up, this is me on the right, and on the left is Cameron, and behind us is the Notre Dame Basilica in Montreal.