Thursday, November 30, 2006

I power blogger! And the hearts of Men!

I have one question today, and one question alone.
Why is that it never rains, but it pours?
In other words, why is it that when you stop looking for something, it comes at you at such a pace that you can't keep up?
Currently I am going through such an...issue...I guess one could call it.
About three weeks ago I came to a great realization, one that has taken me months to accept. This great epiphany was that I am single, I am fabulous, and I am hot. As soon as I accepted this, it was nuts how many people started going nuts over me! I had four people actively pursuiting me, and not just for relationships, two of them was just to be, well, fuck-buddies. Quite literally. Why is that they were not around two months ago when I was looking for some?! Jesus, and now when I am not looking for that, they all come along! I wasn't l ooking to get into another relationship, but already I have layed out the groundwork for exactly that! Already been on a date and everything, and to think I didn't want to be in a relationship, and suddenly here I am actively pursuiting it! Now mind you, said person is quite amazing, and I do quite like him. Both physcially and for his mind...I dunno, we just connect...
Funny how the world works in those kind of ways. As soon as you stop looking for something everything you had been wanting for the longest time suddenly floods at you. Odd, and frustrating! Maybe it's because of the attitude that people give off, some sort of new-found confidence? I am not sure what it is, maybe we discretely secrete some odour or something that makes others go wild over us? As I said it never rains, it pours. It is true. Ask anyone who is looking for a relationship, as soon as they enter one their crush from three months before suddenly walks into the picture. Funny. With regards to that though, it simply goes to the fact that the person they are crushing over is unattainable, something they can't have. As anyone who reads this blog well knows, that is something I grappled with not too long ago, and still do. Crushing over the uncatchable person. Makes it rough! Anyways, I am going to go off and be the uncatchable person that I am now, and I a curious as to see who else decides to try and make a pass at me. Oh how ironic and fun life can be sometimes. Now for once I can lead people on...let them chase me. Well, the chase is in full swing, wish me luck!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A Pause for thought

How is it that I want to make lots of hot babies with him, when biologically it is impossible. Stumped again.

I am in a rather chipper mood!

I am in a rather chipper mood today. One would think I have consumed caffeiene when in fact, I have not. Where to start.
Well how about this.
I feel like a grand fool today, solely because around certain individuals I become a bumbling idiot. And it just so happens, as is so often the case, that these individuals I become a bumbling fool in front of, are of course people that I like, am crushing on, would like to make lots of hot babies with, but most importantly, have them like me back. However the issue with being a bloody idiot in front of them is that so often they look at my antics and write me off. I wish somedays that I would somehow get the courage I need and not have to worry about being turned down. Living life to its absolute fullest. Taking chances, jumping off bridges, diving into the deep side of the pool. I took another step towards that I am proud to say. Just this past weekend I asked out a long-time crush. And I didn't get turned down! It happened in a most peculiar way as well. Basically, we were sitting at a bar and across the way two lesbians were kissing. Said crush turned to me and stated that he would like to be a part of that action. Well considering I liked him, and had consumed copious amounts of alcohol I promptly planted one on his lips. It last only a second, but I was the one who broke away first, suggesting that he didn't oppose. I followed up by making the suggestion that I take him out sometime this week, and the chap agreed. Hot damn, he's a looker. I don't know why on earth he would agree to go on a date with plain old me. Seriously, said crush could probably get anyone he wanted to. Ah well. At least he said yes. It'll be intersting to see where things go. For better or for worse. Until next time.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

What is it with me and...

I would like to come to understand why it is I go for the people whom I have absolutely no chance with. I know a number of people who do this. Is it just human nature? Is this what the modern hunt has come down to? Trying to catch the uncatchable partner? And when we do, even as we are pursuiting, we know we are only going to end up hurting in the end. Yet we still pursuit. Why? The classic saying goes that a crush usually ends up doing that to oneself, crushing us in the end. To us, they seem perfect, the perfect partner, mate, free from all vice and sin. Yet from someone else on the outside looking in, a number of alarming issues arise. They warn, yet we do not heed, or if we do, we put it on the back burner and continue on with the chase. I find myself in this situation right now. Crushing after someone who I obviously should not be going for. Yet I want to, and am, in the most subtle of ways of course. An invite here, a free ticket there. Wrapping them up ever so slowly into the palm of my hand. I shouldn't, but I do. Even though i know it is a losing battle. I've already been hurt once. Was it not enough? Why am I going back for more? Perhaps it is because I am masochistic in this way, hurting myself emotionally. I see them as being perfect. Yet my closest of friends has told me since day one that there is something they distrust in them. Something as they said "sketchÿ" about them. keep him as a friend, not a lover. Yet I continue down this path. Even as a friend I know I will be hurt. Yet even as a friend I pursuit. The modern hunt is in full swing. Emotionally, physically, and fairly pyschologically as well in a sense. So much put into this, with absolutely no output. I should stop this chase. I want to now. Yet as soon as I see them I know I won't. Perhaps it is time to seperate myself. But I don't want to, and so I won't.