Friday, November 19, 2004


Well, this certainly has been a most blah of a week. Writers block is in full swing with me, and the fact i have so many papers to write, i have no time to even ponder the abstract. So, once again, you all are getting stuck with one of these...

1.Full name: Robert Andrew Henwood
2.How old are you? 18
3.Favorite color? Well, i know exact colours...Silver Tempest or Midnight Blue...nice colours
4.Eye color? Soft blue (And yes, they are my natural eye colours!)
5.Hair color: boring eh?
6.shoe size? 9.5 - 10, but i can squeeze into 9's just fine
7.Where are you ticklish? I can put up with most tickling....but honestly, everywhere...
8.Color and type of undies? Solid Gray boxers
9.When did you have your last bad day? Hmmmmm...November 5th...
10.Last time you cried? It's been a while....can't remember
11.Have a crush? Me? At the moment? Uhmmmm...hmmm...yeah...i do
12.If so who? Lindsay Lohan...haha...uhm, one at the moment
13.Who has been on your mind lately? Marianne and Lauren have been, dunno why
14.Sex after marriage?: Uh...Yeah...wut kinda question is that?
15.Ever been drunk? Is this serious?, I'm Mormon...haha! Of fuckin course i've been sloshed!
16.High? Yes...a few times...
17.What are you most sensitive about? My Music, not my CD's, but MY music
18.last movie you saw? In the theater? The Notebook...on TV...Coyote Ugly
19.bubble wrap or tin foil? BuBbLeS of course!
21.kind of music? Most everything, expecially Punk-Pop and Classic Rock
22.what are you listening to right now? Walk On - U2
23.last thing you ate? A Teen Burger
24.last guy/girl you touched: Lauren
25.last guy/girl who touched you: Marianne do you get to school? I drive and park at McMahon Stadium and then either walk or train it to school
27.shampoo? Got2be or A|G
28.the next thing you are excited for? Tonight...might be going to Tequila and doing Jello Shots! Hahaaaaa
29.tan or fair? Uhmmmm...either works, but I love that bronze look
30.straight or curly hair/long or short? Hmmm...I love straight hair, long or short works
31.eye color? I love Green Eyes, either that or Steel Blue
32.short or tall? Tall...haha
33.mature, or immature, or just wild? Wild...but mature
34.punky, girly, goth, or ghetto? Punk! but girly too
35.bubbly and crazy, or calm and shy? Crazy! but calm
ON GUYS FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT (on guys as my friends, ha!)
36.shy guy or outgoing? Outgoing...
37.boxers or briefs? shouldn't matter...but, uhm, boxers i guess?
38.tan or fair skin? Doesn't matter
37.tall or short? Doesn't matter again
38.facial hair? Uhm...whatever they wantbut no beards or mustaches.....gah!
39.Eyes? SUre, i don't feel like leading the blind around
40. Personality? Exciting!
*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/ holic? Hells ya!
42.your escape when your angry? My Piano, long walks along the river, or my painting
43.your diet? Food, and water
44. Fave music video? Oh my....uh...Eminem's Just lose the moment anyways

and now the music playing is Back in the New York groove! haha! I love it...

Monday, November 15, 2004

Bored, but i have this to do!


x. Slept in your Bed : Oh god, too many people, Hayley, Bonnie, Tash, Christine...uhm, me
x. Saw you cry : Wow...Uhm...Bonnie? a few years ago?
x. You last shared (non-alco) drinks with : My mother
x. You went to movies with : Last person? Natasha...before that was usually Susan, Jill, Hayley and Bonnie
x. You went to the mall with : Myself, or Andrea
x. Yelled at you : Rents
x. Sent you an e-mail : Natasha just did


x. Said "I Love You" and meant it : Hmmm...i say that to my mother, and really close friends and mean it, but otherwise....nope
x. Gotten in fight with your pet : Hahaha, yes, she drew blood, i drew fur
x. Been to California : Yuppers, spent it all in L.A.
x. Been to China : Not yet
x. Been to Canada : Riiiiiiight, uhm, i live in Canada!?
x. Danced naked : Where is the question, cuz not in public
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day : Hahaa, my dreams are too out there, well, actually, the last one did come pretty close to being true...the next day
x. Wished you were the opposite sex: Uhm....not really, i don't really want to experience Labour all that badly
x. Had an imaginary friend : Friends....friends! pluralize that!
x. What book are you reading now : Life of Pi, David Copperfield, A Skeleton in God's closet and Angels and Demon's
x. Worst feeling in the world : Lonliness
x. Future son's name : Don't make me think hard!
x. What's under your bed : Posters, books, binders, paints, canvases, newspapers...and socks
x. Siblings : A.J. and Lance
x. Location : Just outside the least cultural city in the world...wait a sec, that's edmonchuck
x. College plans : Fcuk...put up with this shitty u o' c for another year then off to Ottawa, followed by McGill in Mon-tre-al
x. Piercings/tattoos : Four piercings, gonna get more when the mood befits me, same with tatoos


x. Do you do drugs : Have, didn't have the greatest of times
x. Do you drink :, I'm mormon...haha, j/k...hells ya i drink! Quite a lot too at times...
x. What clothes do you sleep in : Uhm, pajama bottoms and any ol' tee i can find
x. Where do you want to get married : Hmmmm...well...if people can afford to come, I'd like to be married in the South of France, overlooking the mediterranean
x. Who do you really hate : Half of America....and Bush
x. Are you for world peace : It'll never happen, putting it nicely...


x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with : Crushed? yes....but it is called a crush for a reason
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did : Cried? No
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after : Hmm...someone who enjoys going out all the time, and at a moments notice too...
x. Want someone you don't have right now : Nope
x. Are you lonely right now : Haha, nope, talking to my peeps on msn at the moment, something about vampirates and the like (?)
x. Song that's stuck in your head : I'm back! Back in the New York groove.....I'm Back! Back in the New York Groove!
x. do you want to get married : Eventually...
x. do you want kids : Eventually, i want to spoil someone!


x. Room in house : Fine, either that or the library
x. Type(s) of music : Mostly everything, except....well...most country, and most thuggin rap...
x. Band(s) : So many, uhm....well...Bif Naked (of course) U2, Social Code, Sum 41, R.E.M., Bare Naked Ladies, John Mellencamp, Todd Kerns, AFI, Better than Ezra, The Offspring
x. Color : Blue, or Silver
x. Perfume or cologne : Gah! Cologne Connoseior! Everyday stuff: Boss, Clubbin: Chanel Allure, Special Events: Angel Schlesser (not available in North America!) Designer duds: Aqua de Gio
x. Brand : Armani and Boss
x. Season: End of Winter through to beginning of Summer, so, that would be...Spring!


x. Cried : Nope
x. Bought something : Beer at Limericks
x. Gotten sick : Was sick, yes
x. Missed someone : Yes (Hayley! Happy B-Day!)
x. Hugged someone : Yes

Current Mood: Good, almost done school for the day!
Current Music: Fast Car - Tracey Chapman, and now its over....oh, now its U2's Vertigo!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Pain and Suffering = Retribution and Revenge?

Why is it that we hunger for revenge and retribution? I have come to think that it is a natural human trait and feeling. But, oh what a nasty one it is. Why is that though? I mean, yes people may wrong us...some more often then others...but why do we need to go on the hunt for blood? So many wars, so many dead, so much destruction, all because we want to get back at someone. The other day some bitch was driving a van, ran a stop sign and almost sideswiped me, i was going 80 km/h and she just drove out in front, i layed on the horn and all, and scared her to bits, but still. Today I go to the police and will see if i can lodge a complaint against her. It scared me shitless as I was only in a head-on collision the week before, where some jakass ran a yield sign. So i mean, i am fed up with bad drivers, and i want this wench to pay if i can. But is that it? Always expecting someone else to let things slide in that regard. It's like, oh, they're suing that person over that? How silly, yet if something like that were to happen to us, we would do exactly the same thing. Am I not mistaken? I mean, I can put up with bad drivers most of the time, and let things slide, yet why did this particular incident push me over the edge? I mean, I am going to the police to see about complaints, i know where the wench lives...but do i honestly need to go? No i don't honestly NEED to go, but I want to go. I want to hurt her in some strange way. I want her to pay for her stupidity and ignorance. But why? It isn't all that necessary, yet it is. I don't understand my feelings at times. This is one of them. But i think this feeling goes much deeper into my human psyche, beyond my conciousness, to be able to do anything about it. And it is such a destructive feeling. I am not usually a destructive or violent person, yet something has awoken in me...i am not sure what, but it rears its ugly head every so often. I mean, I want blood, i want people to suffer...if you wrong me, stay away from me. I may not confront you head on, but i will go behind yer back and destroy you. I've done it before. And unfortunately, I will do it again, if it is necessary. Shit, now i am sounding like a complete asshole...i don't like it, it's not me, yet at the same time, it is a part of me. I can't help it. Ah well, life is full of interesting twists and turns. Ah well. Anyways, I am done for now. I think i need to just breath and calm myself down. Maybe then i won't feel like going and burning that bitches house down. Haha, that's scarey, I know where she lives...oh, little does she know...(don't worry, i won't do anything too drastic) right. I'm off, ciao!
*Hmmm...i've tasted blood and i want more, more, more, more!*

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

I sit here at work...

I sit here at work, wondering what has happened, and what is going to happen. It certainly is amazing how fast life can be changed, can be fast an opinion about something, or about someone can change so drastically....and respect, how fast that can fly out the window. Ah well. What honestly can be done? Not much. Gah, I can't believe how drunk i got last night, so pathetic. So pathetic indeed. But apparently it was quite entertaining for some people. Ah well. So it does turn out that my Mom's car has been written off, well done andrew, well done. So it looks like we're gonna be down a vehicle for the winter, the rents are gonna wait until the spring to find a new car. So i guess it was a good thing that we kept the is such a nice car, a true SUV...but so nice, ah well. It has some leaks on it though, so it is gonna have to go into the shop for a bit. But my family is extremely lucky and fortunate that we have the ability to resort to another car even when the main vehicle was knocked out of commision. And in other news....a new storm front and a tropical depression seem to be headed on a collision course somewhere over the tropic of how about that for metaphor! Haha...i make myself cry over my patheticness at times. And now for something completely different. So i am gonna book my plane ticket out for Montreal sometime within the next two weeks, and it looks like i will also be heading to New York City for a few days while I am over on that side of the continent. Now i am getting excited...excellent! Montreal is nice, but New's friggin New York. Fifth Avenue! Here I come! Long weekend coming up, should be fun, I think I'll go out to Banff for one of those days. Perhaps Sunday? Who knows. Anyways, I am bored out of mind here, so I think that I am gonna head off soon, no, I am gonna head off right now. There is nothing for me to do here, so why waste my time, my life, sitting around and doing nothing? Exactly. Anyways, ciao!

Monday, November 08, 2004

so drunk at the monet!

and i am really drunk at them monet! I can no lnger see straight so i am no longer gonna care about my splelling so you gyyrs are all gonnna have to put up with it.... i am so drunk, i can no longfer see straight! Yeah me! I am now a prart of ther four musketeeers! I am a musketeer! Yhehehehe! yeah me! RIGHTIO, i must be off, i did type out a whole shitload more, but i smoehow managed to delete it all and ireplaced it with some italian sng buy andrea boceellie!? hiow i managed to do that i do not know, bvyt all i do know is at the moment i can no loner seee steraufht at akllk, and talking to people ion msn is soooooo entertaingt....hmmm...lets see who is onkline, cameron is, as is daniell, and dianna, and a whoke bucnh of other opeopole, mny ex is on, and i donlt like it at all, but since i am drunbj i think i will talk to them,,,,,ghgge hehehe,, they said hey?! yes, go me! go team drew! i jsut got another gllass of wine and i managed to chug iut...go team good! hahaha, i am such a dork! la le la na no da! i am such an aocloholic, it is a monday and i am already druhnk1 hehehheheee
! ant yayws u tghunk i will fo now! i must be off, my drinking partner,m who happens to be my mother is no w yelling at me toi get off the ocmuper! so sad i am....anyways., cheers yall! ui can nbo l,onger ffel my face, or feet or lips for that matter!@ lool! anyways! cheers yall! and good night to you all as well!n by7e bye!
andrew x-)

Saturday, November 06, 2004

I hope you had the time of your life...

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Wasn't easy

That was by far one of the worst days and nights of my life. Shit. I mean everyone knew he was leaving. For Good. And so that was why Melissa and I went out to the airport to send off her best friend, and one of my best buds, Cameron. But still, it wasn't easy. After saying our good-byes and all, Cameron and his Dad turned and walked down that hallway, and Melissa and I turned and walked in the opposite direction. Neither of us looked back, but as soon as she turned around, that's when it hit her. He's gone. That was tough to see. I've never known such a strong character like Melissa before, and to see her raw emotions bubble to the surface, it was hard. I dropped her off at school, and she looked like she was going to be ok. The rest of my day was a blur. But Natasha and I had made plans to go to the Night Gallery so I headed to her place, and for a good two hours we sat on her porch and just talked. I mean she was asking for some advice in certain areas and i tried my best, it was a hard conversation to have, but she held up pretty good through it all.'s so tough to be a Gemini-Cancer at times. Curses! To be so insecure, and that unfortunate ability to forget someone really fast. Sorry, few of you will understand what that was all about. Anyways, so at like sometime after 11 we were finally dragged to the Night Gallery. Natasha and I went to grab some pizza first, we talked some more and then headed in. We stayed for about an hour and then we called up Melissa to see what was going on, and found out she was still at Brewsters so we then headed there. Oh god, walking into Brewsters and seeing Melissa was hard. She was so upset, there were tears constantly welling up in her eyes. And then as soon as we sat down with her, she broke down. Oh it was hard, so hard to see. And the only thing she was saying was "He's gone, he is finally fucking gone...fuck...after all those cop-outs, he's finally left...I can't believe he's just gone" Oh it was so hard, i've had people cry on my shoulders before, but this was something different, this was genuine grief. And then Natasha was trying to stay strong through it tough...we got a pitcher of beer, and some some shots of Jager and then toasted Cameron. Melissa and I did the toast Cameron always would say "Bottoms up, bottoms down, here's to beer and not queers" and as soon as we finished, Melissa was a wreck again. The rest of the night was pretty much like that. And when i dropped Melissa off, Natasha and I walked her to the front door. And then the crying began all over again. Oh the poor isn't easy, it really isn't. And the one thing that Melissa said to me, that really got to me, was the fact that the people meeting Cameron at the airport this morning weren't his lifelong friends...and that was tough to hear and realize. No wonder Cameron left, i would too...anyways, i'm done. I just needed to write this out, kinda like therapy for me in a way, cuz comforting Melissa and Natasha was not easy at was hard. And when every single fucking song playing on the radio is appropriate and relevant to everything, hard. Anyways, i must go, i have nothing left to say. Walk on i guess, life will go on, but there definetely is a hole in the three of our lives now. Ciao...

Bottoms up, Bottoms down.......Cheers Cameron!

Thursday, November 04, 2004


Wow, I really fucked myself over this time round. God Damnit...

Oh my poor head

Can someone please explain to me what just happened? Oh my god that was by the far the most intellectual, mind stimulating...mind-blowing conversation i have had with someone in a very, very long time. Over cigarretes and beer last night the two of us delved down into a most philosophical, eye-opening conversation. Religion, Philosophy, Conspiracies, Societal Organizations, it was all touched upon. But perhaps what made the conversation what it was, was the realization settling in of what uncomprehensable knowledge that a few world institutions possess. The true power of these institutions is frightening. The Vatican. Need I say anymore? The knowledge that is buried within the Vatican Archives, the knowledge that resides within those books with the power to change the world and throw everything we have ever known into complete chaos. To have thought and believed in one thing, and then to find out that everything you have ever learned is not the whole truth, if it is truthful at all. It is something few of us would probably ever like to think. Yet for those of us who do, there is such a burning desire, an unquenchable thirst to know what lies within the Vatican Vaults. Yeah, call me a conspiracy theorist, but whatever. There seriously is too much going on for there to be something otherwise. What lies within the walls of some of the worlds greatest insitutions has the power to change the world, to reshape everything we have ever known. There is a reason why we're not given the full story and information, because we couldn't possibly comprehend it. But just imagine what lies behind the closed doors. The best example by far is the Vatican, only because it is a central aspect of faith for at least a billion adherents, and the fact that it is one of the oldest world institutions, and the power it wields, and the respect it commands. Just to try and understand what could possibly lie within the Vatican Archives is strenuous enough, but imagine if the Archives were in fact opened up to a few of us. What new understandings and realizations would be born out of the vast amounts of knowledge kept within the walls. Some would sell their souls for just an hour in the archives. I know I would be willing to give my life up to be able to explore the archives. But then the question arises, what would we do with such knowledge. What would we be willing to give up? I'm not quite sure what lies behind those closed doors, but one thing i do know, is that if i was granted access to the Vatican Archives and Vaults, just going through 0.01% of what is there would probably drive me to kill myself. To know one thing, yet to have never have known it at all is something that is beyond my grasp. I don't know what i would do with myself. I know i wouldn't be able to tell another soul, and so the only other alternative would be to leap from the top of a tower. I wouldn't be able to rationalize, or even come close to being ble to comprehend the information that would be entering me. What joys, what horrors, what lies, what terrors, what truths, what passions, what realizations, and what greater understandings would arise out of exploring something like this. I doubt i will ever know, and i doubt anyone else will ever really know. And my brain is once again fried. I'm not sure what sense this all made, if any, but as a last note, this kind of thinking was just a shred of what was discussed last night. Ai, well done mate. You held your ground, as I held mine. And quite honestly, you really surpised me with the depth and breadth of knowledge that you yourself possess. But as a final word, do not obssess over it, otherwise as we both agreed, you will drive yourself insane, well moreso than we both already are. Anyways, i'm now just rambling. Ciao!

Monday, November 01, 2004

Pause for thought

Who would steal a cat? Seriously?