To All the Smrt People out there!

Ahem...Could I have your attention please...Would the real Paris Hilton please stand up, please stand up, please stand up...(That's Hot!!!) Yes this ones for the people who have no shortage of functional brain cells in their head. And also to those where beauty comes in pairs of three...Yes, Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton, why does everyone pick on Paris Hilton? She's fantastic, like I mean who in their right mind would not like Paris? She dresses classy and elegant, and she doesn't show hardly any skin at all, hell Bikini's reveal more than she ever does, so what the fcuk? Why does everyone attack her? Come on, America doesn't have a Royal Family, so they lift her up, and then drag her through the mud like the Brits do with their own Monarch and Family! But deep down inside everyone is just jealous of her money, looks, and intelligence! "Walmart? What's that? Do they sell wall stuff there?" See! What is Walmart? I don't even know what it is, do they sell wall stuff there? It is only the largest retail store in the United States (That is Discriminatory against Women! Evil Walmart!) But I mean, she works really hard to earn money, I mean she models, does photo shoots, goes tanning, shops (ask anyone, it is a hard thing to do) goes out partying, she also makes a regular appearance on Celebrities Uncensored (awesome show, everyone watch it!) and of course she is constantly filming, and now she is recording a cd. I mean it's not like she sits around all day doing nothing! She is a very busy lady! Both of the Hilton Sisters are very busy. Paris' sister, Nicole Hilton (NOT RITCHIE!) designs handbags for a living, like that is a hard job to do! So it's not like they sit around all day drinking Martinis off of Gold Trays! I mean though they may be worth in excess of $300,000,000.00US (about $42,394,723,984,723,874,987,918,273,497,329,847,827,553,932 Canadian Money) So leave Paris and her sister alone! They are gorgeous God-Given creatures out of LA that here are to drive us all green from Jealousy, I guess it is the Good Lord's test of our merit against the Seven Deadly Sins (Jealousy being one of them!) So yeah. I love Paris, and nothing will ever change that! Ever! She is a gorgeous girl, who just happens to have a pointy nose, a big chin, and elf ears! But oh well! It is the inner Intelligence of this girl that really captures my heart! Brains and Beauty? What could possibly make her any better? How about the fact that shes worth a few pennies? Yes, she is a Siren now isn't she? Well, that about wraps this joint up! Watch the Simple Life 2, the Simple Road Trip kinda Life!
Ciao!
Oh and here is a song about Ms. Hilton! (YEAH for the PenFifteen Club!)

Oh my, looky there
Stone-cold foxy, platinum hair
Short skirt, barely there
Make a chick wanna hate, make a boy wanna stare

Well, Ms. Hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks
Get the feelin' that you don’t really give a fuck
Ms. Hilton I like the way you push and glide
Rollerskates on a social butterfly, whoo!

Breeze by, velvet ropes
Ski this town like a bunny slope
Oh my, there she goes
A Long money girl in her short money clothes

Well,Ms. Hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks
Was it you with your bunny all up in the club?
Ms. Hilton I like the way you push and glide
Rollerskates on a social butterfly

Ms. Hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks
Get the feelin that you don’t really give a fuck
Ms Hilton I like the way you push and glide
Rollerskates on a social butterfly

Ms. Hilton you must be worth a trillion bucks
Was it you with your bunny all up in the club?
Ms. Hilton I like the way you push and glide
Rollerskates on a social butterfly

Ms. Hilton
Ms. Hilton
Ms. Hilton

I Love this...it's great!

Which Broadway Musical Are You Destined to perform in? by dangerousgame
Name/Nickname
Age
Sex
Color
Broadway Musical	Into the Woods
Part	Lead
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Oh, I love Into the Woods, I hope that I get to be Jack!
Jack, Jack, Jack, Head in a Sack.
The House is getting colder, the mice are getting bolder.
OooooOOOOooooOOOoooooo...

I just love Broadway!
They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway.
They say there's always magic in the air on Broadway!
And I won't quit till I'm a star on BROOOOOOOOOOOOOADWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!

Ciao! De dum de dum dum de duh de duh de dum dum!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Swear I'm not addicted to Quizes!!!!

Your Icecream Flavour is... French Vanilla!

You're a smooth and silky suave type! You exude class and you believe in tradition. A classical taste who doesn't like things to be too flashy or showy. Climb the Eiffel tower of taste with a spoonfull of you! Oui Oui!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

Yummy Me!!!!!

Electric Carvers...

Muahahahahaaaaaa...I'm good.  I have now instilled fear in the general populace by realizing that I can fly.  Hmmmmm.  Whoa, now that was a weird experience.  Why doesn't anything make sense anymore?  Grrrr...some people really shouldn't have kids, myself included, can one imagine if I had any kids?  One of them surely would succeed in blowing up the world one way or another.  But Meh...So I saw that Frank n' Furter had an absolute marvelous of a time with his electric carver, then I remembered that I have one too, so I began to play with it last night.  "I made you, and I can BREAK you just as easily, RRRRRRrrrrrrr."  Yes, I have that knowledge, I hold the secret to the fundamental laws of Electric Carvers itself...En Garde!  Wow, I am good.  I never cease to amaze me at times, this moment being one of those instances.  So yesterday a horde of Aussies descended upon my humble workplace, glaring at me as they passed.  But they weren't drinking any Aussie Beer, actually no beer at all, and they were all dressed up in suits.  How bizzare, I guess that it just must have been a disguise so that they wouldn't get swarmed by the whole city of Calgary.  Yes, we love Aussies, we very much do love Aussies.  Who couldn't possibly love the Aussies?  Them with there accents and tans and billabongs and outback hats.  Yes, they certainly are a marvelous group of people all huddeled on an island.  Betchya didn't know that the capital of Aussieland is Canberra did you?  Some people are so ignorant.  Pish Posh.  I want to go and visit the land down under one day, that way I can say that I've seen the Aussie's in their native homeland and drinking their Aussie beer.  Yes, just wonderful.  I wonder if they have Electric Carvers down there?Ciao!

Creature of the Night...Part 2!

Who will give you an orgasm? by leslie13
Name
Age
Virgin?
So, who will make you moan?	Brad Pitt
How?	Intercourse.
Will it be good?	mmm hmmm...:)
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Now I thought that this was particularily interesting, lol its almost a dream come true, teheheheheeeee...dream on, Ciao!

Oooooh...Creature of the Night!

 

are you sexy? by jeska
your name
do YOU think you are?
male/female?
on a scale from 1-10 you are a	8
other people say you are	gorgeous
your sex appeal will last til	May 14, 2083
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Sependipity

I have been known to pull some pretty strange things in my  career as a professional High School Student.  But at this moment I cannot seem to be able to recall a sungle instance when this occured.  I don't like it when I am hocked up on calories like I am right now.  My left foot starts to twitch when that occurs.  Ai...so apparently Google crashed the other day.  Marvelous, just marvelous Darling, it looks as though Geraldine had another field day.  Right, everyone meet Gerladine, she finishes off the Trio of the G pixies.  And the G pixies are bad.  They are the spawns of Satan.  As if that wasn't obvious enough as it is right now.  And that is enough about the pixies.  But at least Anastasia is still behaving herself.  So I have finally decided something, I don't like inside jokes.  They are annoying and frustrating and drive me bonkers.  Always on the outside looking in.  Hmph.  I mean when some really good friends do it and you have no clue what's going on it is very frustrating.  Then again, if I'm involved in an inside joke then HA!  Sucks to be others, I love when I get to be involved.  I know that sounds really selfish, but hey, I think that everyone pretty much feels that way about things like that.  I am not really in a ranting mood right now.  Hmmmm, nor a contemplative, or thoughtful mood.  Wow, how unexciting.  Meh.  Guess I should go then.  But did I mention that I hate being left out of jokes?  Especially inside noes?  Argh!  It drives me up the wall.  And you people know who you are.  Tick Tick Scratch Lady!  Ha!  Tea with the Moon?  Ha!  Dickin' Dotz! Ha (now that was actually one I got to be involved in, Ha!)  But like awwwwwww guyz......meh.....inside jokes are fantastic, they kinda let you know who are your close friends and who aren't!  Pbbbbbth!  But now its time to get into the whole inside joke thing then..."All day they just sit on their island and drink Aussie Beer!"  LOL jill!  A big shout out to JayJay, Casey, Sidney, Penelope!  And being killed with ketchup on Shauna's Island!  Oh good times...Fluffy Bunnies, Swifer Mops and Starbursts too!  LOL.  Anyways, time to run away and try and get Gustafer back into his suitcase.  Too bad Nicolas is on a hunger strike, he thinks he's Ghandi.  Psh.  Anyways, Ciao!!!!

He's Mine! 

Brad Pitt.......ahhhhh

Brad Pitt...That is all that I have to say. My goodness, is there any other guy out there who is as HOT!!!!!! Yes I said HOT as Brad Pitt? I think not. Just look at those pecs.....hmmmmmm. I'm sorry, but you can't be human and not have a crush on Brad! Yes yes......i know that I'm a guy....but it goes for guys too! Seriously, I heard of a guy who jizzed all over his pants becuase of Brad in that movie...Troy....and of course that is becuase of all of the infamous scenes from that movie. But I mean it is not only Troy, but Ocean's 11... gawd I hate him becuase of his looks. Jen is sooooo friggin lucky. Then again Brad is lucky to have such a stunner as Jen. Meeeeeow. Wow, they certainly were made for eachother, perhaps the two most b-e-a-utiful people in the friggin world. So what if he's 40? He certainly doesn't look it? Hmmmmm...well.....now we can all begin a Dream On session....are we ready? 1...2...3....oh Brad. Well...that is enough about Brad. Jen please don't kill me just because I stole Brad from you by making you drive into the ocean. You can have him back when I'm done...savvy? Well....that's enough, if I were to go on any longer, I do believe I would see a rainbow form around me. Oh and Tiffaneey!!!! I want my Bra back when you finithed...Anastathia wanth her pink one back too...
ALRIGHT ENOUGH!!!!! Now go back to your closet.....bad...bad...bad.
GUSTAFER!!!!!!!!!STOP LIGHTING THOSE BLOODY SHEETS ON FIRE!!!!!!! Gaaaaaaaaah!!!! Is there anything normal left in this world? Martha Stewarts in Jail!!!!! *Shed a tear*...half the Beatles are dead.....and....and.....and.....I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOOO...*SOB*......
I must be gone...*sniff* too many jumping Jehova Witnesses over here to actually accomplish something...Good night to all!!!!
Ciao

Just a Sprite

I am cow I eat grass toxic gas comes out my Ass...hmmmmmm what a very interesting line.  Never thought about it in a deep way before.  It is amazing what a can of sprite can do to one's sense of being and stability.  Well, I apparently seemed to have misplaced my marbels, though most would say I lost them a long time ago.  I think I lonly just realized that now.  Hmmmmm.    I just love Paris Hilton.  I mean, like she is fantastic.  She makes me feel like uhmmm....what his face....Einstein.   Yes, she makes me feel like Einstein.  I got to see her run last night, but I don't think that she can actually 'run'  she just kinda skipped along.  And it didn't help that her dog took a shyte on the baseball field.  Heheheheeeeeeeee take that you baseball loving freakazoids.  Hmph.  Don't hate me because I'm beautiful and only speak the truth.  Baseball....what a lame sport.  Now see if you have a few drinkz before going out to play that game than all of a sudden it just jumps up a few notches in the interesting category.  Yup.  Definetly.  And I am actually speaking from experience here, not just some random B.S. though sometimes it is fun to write like that too.  Aaaaaaaah.  The Life of Brian is actually a very intersting movie.  It is very deep and everything too.  Like it gives us an example of how religions could have gained a foothold in the world.  For example, "He gave us his shoe...!  It is a sign that we must go out into the world and collect shoes in abundance."  or the next line in the movie is "But wait, what of the gourd he gave us?  The Holy Gourd!  Behold the Holy Gourd of Jerusalem!  Follow the Gourd, the Holy Gourd of Jerusalem!"  Like I mean, isn't that a possiblity that, that is how some of the different religions of the world started?  It is a slight possiblity.  If you are questioning the religion which you were brought up in, attend a World Religions class if you want to change.  If you do not want to change religions, but hope that a "rebirth" in your old religion is going to take place, do not take World Religions, becuase the only thing that you will be left with is just more questions than when you first started out.  Ewwwww.  Why is it so dry in Calgary, I mean my hands are literally shrivelling up right now.  Gross.  I think I need some moistureizer.  But then all of the components will get screwed up.  Meh.  You know a problem in this world today is the cell phone.  I mean I have one, and I love it and all.  But it's like we're all gonna die of brain cancer seriously.  If we don't kill ourselves by driving off the road or into another car, then the "cell" waves are gonna fry our brains, not that they need anymore becuase of all the shyte that we pour into them every day already as it is.  But like I mean they are deadly.  Good luck with your health.  Whoa....now this is what I call random jumbling of ideas....Kerazy aye?  Well...my brain is hurting, I think it is because of the 8 hours spent in front of the compuer screen thusfar today.  Fine.  Ciao!

Shiva is having a hayday (and so is Gustafer it seems)

I received a breifing on the State of the Union today.  And it seems that the world is not going to end anytime soon.  Earnings are up, morale is low, so the whippings are gonna start up again.  Yippee!!  I just love it when Morale is low, that means extra rations for us.  And I seemed to have found a new word today, and I am hoping that someone can tell me what it means...
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
What does that mean?  A fear of hippos running you over or something?  I dunno.  I have decided that this world is too normal for my likings anymore.  What to do.  I know!!!!!!!!  We'll make lots of little clones of Jill, then how can the world ever be 'normal' again?  Ha!  I am so glad that I am a genius.  Which brings me to the topic of cloning.  What the Friggin eh?  Why do we need to play god, or gods now?  Aye, once you open Pandora's box, you really cannot close it until it is too late.  So once we have a bunch of George Dubya's running around trying to take over the world, maybe then we will realize the mistakes of cloning.  Stoooooooooopid Raelians...could someone please back hand those Alien Dancing Idiots please...cloning a baby my arse ya?  You know the day I see a pig fly, perhaps then I might believe that this clan of dingbatz really cloned a baby in a simple lab using hydrogen and water.  What a bunch of silly squirrels.  Are we savvy?  Good.  But just imagine, a bunch of short shrubs running around the world, kicking out dictators here and there.  Ya know, it would only be a certain amount of time before one of them would try to come up to Canada and try to take over our Timmy's.  Darn Yanks and their donuts.  God Bless Tim Horton's.  But plz let Shiva have some fun with Coors and Molson, filthy backstabbing unpatriotic pigz.  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  What is this world coming too?  The whole "I am Canadian" beer is now owned by a bunch of Yanks!  Not that I drink beer, but hey, I'm a Canuck too.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!  Rant Rant Rant, that is all that I do today.  Stoooooooooooopid state of the Union crud, and silly Cloning, and blah blah blah.  Oh well, at least Anastasia still hasn't learned how to go all red eyed.  That would be scarey.  Now if she gets her hands on any manantees and absinthe, then, well, we're all more screwed than if the whole world was ruled by a bunch of little Bush's.  And what of those mini donutz....why do they only taste so good at the stampede and nowhere else?  I meanm I think it is time to buy a mini donut factory, but I am afraid that they wouldn't taste the same, which would make me oh so very sad.  Such tragedy's in life.  Wanna a know a tragedy, well, it turns out that the 57 on the Heinz bottle is little more than a number picked out of the air and slapped onto a bottle.  So I thought that there were 57 varieities of pickles, but noooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooo...it is just a made up number.  Hmph....oh well, I still want John Kerry to win.  Ugh...I WANT MINI DONUTZ NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This message has been brought to you by......
Roo!  the silly goo... who doesn't like the loo.....so he has to sue....uhmmmm...Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo......(!)

Pixies and Crowns?

Why are Pixies sooooo Odd?  I have yet to find out this answer.  No one can really seem to Answer it for me.  The good Sheriffe came very close to understanding the ways of the pixies...but still.  Like I mean I rose Gustafer from a little tiny thing and then when I tried to take his crown away and give it to Anastasia (becuase she looked better in it)  He bit me....so I had to lock him in a suitcase and ship him over to Abu Dhabi before he would behave himself.  Then there is the whole Gurt thing.   Poor Jill....she got attacked by Gurt and had to beat her back into the basement using a bat.  And now she is worried that the door might break down, and out might come this angry "thing".  Oh dear.  Well at least it is better than last time when Jill didn't have a bat, she had to teleport her friend Steph over, and even then Gurt didn't fight too much.  Hmmmm  seems that these creatures are turning a bit cynical and mean.   Meh.  But I mean Jill had to stap Gurt in the eye with a pencil and Steph had to hit Gurt over the head with a guitar and then drag her under Jill's sister's bed.  Wow, what a fighter oi.  And then there is Gustafer, since he has come back he has calmed down a bit, but now he is burning holes in all of the sheets in the house, and he doesn't even smoke.  Weird times I tell you, watch out for them pixies, they'll nip yer nose right off.  Which reminds me of a song....
"The maid was in the garden, Hanging out the clothes....Along came a blackbird and snipped off her nose!"  Wow!  I wonder if there is a conspiracy between the blackbirds and those nasty pixies.  Humph.  Well I don't know what to do.  I think I will just have to call the Spaceman to rescue me from these Pixies.  Uh oh, time to go fight some sheet fires... Well at least Anastasia is nice though, except she has a fetish for Pickles on a Stick...odd, odd, odd....

Random Rambling

Oh sweet Transexual, land of Night.  But its the pelvic thrust....That really drives you insanananane....and we shall do the TIME WARP AGAIN! Ahahahaaaa.......and crawling.....on the planets face, some insects called the human, lost in time, lost in space, and meaning..........
Now there we go, some random Rocky stuff for your absolute pleasure...and don't forget to give over to that either.   Everyone looks down upon pleasure, as if it is some demon.  That is correct, Absolute Pleasure has been demonized by Christianty, the same religion that made sex guilty.  At least the world is finally awakening from this delirious dreamland.  There is nothing wrong with giving over to Absolute Pleasure....at all!!!!  I'm just a wild and an untamed thing, I'm a bee with a deadly sting, get a hit and your mind goes ping, your heart'll thump and your blood will sing, so let the party and the sounds rock on, we're gonna shake it till its life is goooone.  Rose tints my world keeps me safe from my trouble and pain!  But yeah...I don't understand the thinking of society, I have a feeling that I am a member of society, yet at the same time I feel that I am on my own, dancing to my own beat, and marching to my own drum.  I dunno, I think it is becuase I am so open minded, but meh.  Ok, I think I am done now, whatever it is that people call it...hmmmm

What does one say.......

What does one say when one is approached by a stranger offering a space to rant and vent and ponder and understand all of your thoughts and ponderings?  When should say...Of Course!  I would always love a space where I can have green lush fields to run through while singing John Jacobjingleheimerschmidt.  What would be better than that?  How about if a friend offered this deal to you...then it would be most excellent.  That is how this mysterious being came to be formed.  A sort of accident (An Accident)  that I discovered, that elusive Sparrrrrrrrrk that is the secret.  Yes I have that knowledge, I hold the secret to Life itself!  Engarde!
But Seriously...who are we....what are we?  Hopefully this blog will hold some answers, if not for me, than perhaps for someone else out there...ciao!