Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Pain and Suffering = Retribution and Revenge?

Why is it that we hunger for revenge and retribution? I have come to think that it is a natural human trait and feeling. But, oh what a nasty one it is. Why is that though? I mean, yes people may wrong us...some more often then others...but why do we need to go on the hunt for blood? So many wars, so many dead, so much destruction, all because we want to get back at someone. The other day some bitch was driving a van, ran a stop sign and almost sideswiped me, i was going 80 km/h and she just drove out in front, i layed on the horn and all, and scared her to bits, but still. Today I go to the police and will see if i can lodge a complaint against her. It scared me shitless as I was only in a head-on collision the week before, where some jakass ran a yield sign. So i mean, i am fed up with bad drivers, and i want this wench to pay if i can. But is that it? Always expecting someone else to let things slide in that regard. It's like, oh, they're suing that person over that? How silly, yet if something like that were to happen to us, we would do exactly the same thing. Am I not mistaken? I mean, I can put up with bad drivers most of the time, and let things slide, yet why did this particular incident push me over the edge? I mean, I am going to the police to see about complaints, i know where the wench lives...but do i honestly need to go? No i don't honestly NEED to go, but I want to go. I want to hurt her in some strange way. I want her to pay for her stupidity and ignorance. But why? It isn't all that necessary, yet it is. I don't understand my feelings at times. This is one of them. But i think this feeling goes much deeper into my human psyche, beyond my conciousness, to be able to do anything about it. And it is such a destructive feeling. I am not usually a destructive or violent person, yet something has awoken in me...i am not sure what, but it rears its ugly head every so often. I mean, I want blood, i want people to suffer...if you wrong me, stay away from me. I may not confront you head on, but i will go behind yer back and destroy you. I've done it before. And unfortunately, I will do it again, if it is necessary. Shit, now i am sounding like a complete asshole...i don't like it, it's not me, yet at the same time, it is a part of me. I can't help it. Ah well, life is full of interesting twists and turns. Ah well. Anyways, I am done for now. I think i need to just breath and calm myself down. Maybe then i won't feel like going and burning that bitches house down. Haha, that's scarey, I know where she lives...oh, little does she know...(don't worry, i won't do anything too drastic) right. I'm off, ciao!
*Hmmm...i've tasted blood and i want more, more, more, more!*

2 Comments:

At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now you understand. Bravo.

C-dawger

 
At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

C-dawger? Haha, that's great...

 

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