Blissfully Delusional

I recently read an article that suggested that the happiest people were in fact the most delusional. The ones most detached from reality and what really goes on in the world. To me, it came across as a sad indicator of the times that we live in these days. The fact that unless we have seemingly lost our minds we cannot be "happy". But at the same time, what indicators of happiness did they use? What was this focus group encompassing? Me, I am happy, yes I have some things that stress me out, but honestly, I am trully happy. yet I am not delusional, well, that delusional haha. I have a good head on my shoulders that allows me to keep my feet on the ground and be fully aware of whats going on around me. However, there are some elements in my life that trully make being alive a worth while experience. To me, everyday is a new and exciting day, and one can never be fully sure of what to expect out of the day. I have money in my pocket, albeit its only 40 cents, but it is still money in my pocket. I have a roof over my head, I've got a car, I have good friends, and I have a good mother. Trully who could ask for anything more? I know what makes me happy in life, and so I fill my life up doing what makes me happy. Of course I could use more money than the 40 cents in my pocket, but what says that will necessarily bring me any more happiness than if I were stuck with the 40 cents in my pocket? I don't have a lot of friends, but the friends that I do have, I hold close and care very deeply for. Does this make me delusional? The fact that I would trust my life to a handful of people outside of my family that do not walk around with a PhD in Medicine? I trust my friends more than I trust doctors. Or, perhaps, I have not yet experienced the real world and so I have no reason to be delusional. Yet I would argue that point seeing as everyone lives in the real world, its the real world for them. I don't know what its like to be a homeless person as I have never been homeless, that is not the real world for me. I have never grown up with obscene amounts of money and wealth, that is not the real world for me. The real world for me is a comfortable existence, with some hardships along the way. I am not blissfully ignorant of the problems facing the world and our society, I am in touch with that, but seeing as I do not experience that on a first hand basis every day of my life, I do not see how that trully affects me.

I have been very blessed thus far in my life all in all. Yes death and injuries occur in life. Friends come and go. But who says that all good things come to an end. Sometimes they don't. I am happy, and I am not delusional. I am thankful for the friends I have in my life, the family I have, and what I have been able to experience so far. I am happy, and I am not delusional.

Pause for thought...

Humanity is full of absurdity...generally speaking.

Alive and Vibrant

I miss Manahattan.

Perhaps nuts to hear for some people, but for someone who only had a small taste of what that city embodied and had in store, it was one of the most exciting and enthralling 10 days of my life. The electricty that passed through the metropolis was astounding, I felt so alive, so energized while out wandering the streets and avenues. There are so many things that unless you have been there and experienced them for yourself, just can't be conveyed. It is a city unlike any other place on this planet. Every city has a character, a personality that has developed and grown as the city matures, and morphs. Having travelled extensively throughout Europe and the Continental US and Canada, the only other city that felt as alive as New York was perhaps Montreal with its Joie de Vivre. I miss that excitement, that anticipation of not knowing what is in store for the day. Just going out and experiencing everything for what it is. Trying to take it all in. Bleecker Street, Pizza on the steps of the library, East 57th Street (What a Mecca for the discerning Fashionista!), Murray's Cheese in the village. I made it a point to avoid the touristy stuff of Manhattan, Time's Square was fun the first time, but it was shit compared to the rest of the city trully. The only reason I went there was for a photo op which is what I got out of it. 5th ave was nice, but with all the tourists, it got very old very fast, though I am not going to lie, the shopping was fabulous. Funny to say that seeing as I was a tourist, but only for the first day really, I may not have been a citizen, but I picked up on the nuances and that attitude of the people who actually called the island home.

I just ate it all up, the entire experience. For that reason as well, I have decided to go back. Not as a tourist though, or as a visitor even, but as a citizen. The city is too alive and too vibrant to pass up. I want to go back and live there, and so, currently, I am trying to make that a reality. Wish me luck.

The Sunmachine!

The Sunmachine is coming down and we're going to have a party!
The Summer of 2007 is upon us! And wow I am so excited for this! Few of you probably know how excited I am! With this gorgeous warm weather and the bright sun, I just want to spend every waking moment outside! Oh the joys of summer! Between the bright sun shine, days of wandering around in shorts, hanging out on 17th ave eating Gelato and drinks on the Melrose Patio! The Gerry Shaw Park along the Elbow river, my birthday...and of course Pride! And even more exciting for this year! VANCOUVER!!! Woot Woot! Part-ay on! So stoked, so very very stoked! And what is summer without the Calgary stampede?! Ten days of nonstop partying! Fireworks every night! The smell of mini donuts, and days of drinking cheap keg beer! Then of course there is the wonders of being out at my parents place...the sprawling openeness, the constant sound of falling water, the sunsets, evenings spent out along the fire pit, or lounging on the balcony! Margaritas! Martinis! Bellinis! Wine! Beer! Whats not to like?! Hahaha, almost a state constant inebriation! Summer is my Prime...and all I want, is for an endless summer! Oh the bliss...well, back to the salt mines so that I can get out of here at a decent time and go cruising out to my parents place! Cheers and ciao all!

Remember those days...

Anybody under the age of 13 should not read this, and if you do, you should not repost this.

Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.

It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it.


You're a 90's kid if: (every single one of these are awesome!!!)

You can finish this [ice ice _ _ _ _ ]

You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain , and Two Stupid Dogs.

AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philladelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.

You remember when 2Pac and Selena died.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail and Reader Rabbit day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps".

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You remember the craze and then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not . . .

when everyhting was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

when cops and robers was a daily activity.

when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

when we used to obey our parents....ouch

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendo's and Sega Genisis became popular.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders".

You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yomega Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember when Mortal Kombat Was "Da Bomb!"

You remember eating Warheads.

You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Fruitopia, Surge, and Tang.

If you memeber when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Writing M.A.S.H. notes.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell".

You played and/or collected "Pogs"/

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

You had a favorite "New Kid on the Block", and you knew all of their. names

You remember Bewitched, Jump 5, S-Club 7, and that whole period with the boy bands and pop divas.

You remeber exactly where you were and what you were doing the first time you saw a Brittney Spears or N'SYNC video.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Growing Pains.

Carebears and The Gummy Bear show.

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

Lambchop's song never ended.

The old dollar bills.

Silver dollars, wich were cool to have.

You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls

You owned a portable tape player.

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said/

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You know the significance of the number 23.

You went to McD's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the play ground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .

Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .

Before MIKE JONES . . .

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .

Before Sponge Bob . . .

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Way back.

WHEN YOU TRADED POKEMON CARDS FOR A LIVING.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.

Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days . . .

High Lights from my Nex Blog seeing as it will be gone...

When everything in the world may seem dark and gloomy, I know at least that I have this amazing girl right there beside me. Thank you susan. You do mean the world to me...and though I may not say it all the time, or as eloquently, and god knows i am not that touchy feely usually....but i do love you missy....

"so... i realized something today...
because of you, and your friendship
and espically your love...
i've changed as an individual.
you helped me realize my love of fashion
you helped me realize my strength
you helped me find self determination
and thanks to you,
i know the difference between true friendships that last forever
and friendships that are just there for the hell of it. "

- 04/08/07

"Making kids pick their careers at the age of 17 is one of the greatest crimes modern society has on its conscience. Yes, I realise that this is quite a big claim given the roll-call of 20th century disasters, and yes I realise that the 21st century, while perhaps not replicating the scale of calamities of the past, is doing its best to keep up."

- A very disenchanted lawyer from Down Under

02/07/07

TITTIES!!!! COME BACK!!!

-01/28/07

It's christmas eve...
I'm drunk...
my mother is drinking vodka...
my brothers are threatening to bludgeon each other to death...
and Marilyn Manson and Rammstein are playing over the speakers in the house...
I love Christmas with my family...
p to the s...
I wish I could spell.

- 24/12/06

"I am going to make a fur belt out of the roadkill I found this afternoon and call it Fendi"

"We're sorry mame that your coffee tastes like onions, but Andrew left his pasta salad in the fridge with the cream last night"

"Kill them all let God sort them out..."

"The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes, along came a blackbird and snipped off her nose!"

"Philosophie Française, toujours mauvais..."

"Chaos seems to be ruling supreme at the moment...paradise is lost"

"Andrew...how many episodes of 24 are there?" - "24 mother..."

"no...i'm soecialk...sorry, i mean special"

"Apparently I am a Skanky Alcoholic..."

"Is your sarcasm absolutely necessary?" - "Hmmm, it's not addressed in the memo..."

"It's a duflafel...? What the hell is a duflafel?"

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow"

"Yes, I am just that fucking charming."

- 10/19/06

I wish those rabbits living beneath me would keep the volume down on their procreating activities, especially at 1am!

bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang

Seriously.

- 07/31/06

Random conversation that occured over the lunch hour that i found rather amusing...!

M: You have a face for radio! lol, jk.
Me: Yeah? Well so does your mom!
M:Yah, My mom is ugly. Your point?
Me: Uhm...I dunno....Vagina? Yay! Almost lunch...and ew, vagina and eating doesn't go over so well in the same message...
M: You box eater you!
Me: Only twice! Jeez now I just kick them!
M: I've never touched a box. I'm afraid it might bite my hand off.
Me: And if not the box itself, then its owner!
M: Rabid Beaver
Me: Hahaha! Yes!

~*~

Oh Yay for random text message conversations!!!

- 06/29/06

miss Kink Night. Yes technically it is still going on, but it just isn’t the same anymore. Ever since it left detours it has not been the same. The crowd is dying out as it keeps changing venues every month. You no longer know what to expect. It’s just not the same feeling. It’s sad really. They really were a ton of fun. I mean it’s coming up on two years now since I first went to Kinky. And man, it was a blast. Ah good times good times. I remember when they were it was a monthly thing for all of us…the high light of the end of the month for most of us. It gave me a chance to see people that I didn’t get to see all too often. But at least I knew that I would run into them there. I had my crazy hair, and tight black outfit…and sometimes handcuffs. Melissa was there in her hot little thing, pleather and all. Mala was there in a Sari, looking like an exotic stripper, Dianna and here little black tutu. Still hard to believe that it’s coming up on two years now already. It is amazing how time flies now isn’t it. Detours really was the best location for it. Everyone knew that it was going to be happening there, so I mean there was never the worry about where the next one would be held at. Everyone knew about it. The dance floors were great with their two varieties of music, and seriously the DJ’s spinning knew what they were doing, knew what the crowd wanted, there were times that I could have just danced the whole night away there. They had the perfect setup for the shows…between the back stage and the front one…and all the kinky fetishes and fantasies that people dreamed about. Fireplay…dominatrix…role play…*sigh* I got so many ideas from those shows….The upper room where the whippings would occur…I remember my first time getting whipped…was certainly interesting…but man, if they knew how to whip you right it was sooo good…Then there was that table in the corner of the basement where we would all always gather. I mean it was just ours. If anyone was sitting there we would join them and once again the table would belong to us. I always knew that I could find people that I knew sitting there. See I don’t know what happened. It was good for the most part. Detours was the best location. It was dirty, but I mean that’s what fed into the whole evening…It was a part of the environment, it really added that finishing touch to the overall atmosphere. Of course you could fall, there were so many different staircases and whatnot, but it was a rush. The bar-tenders, the Queens, the leather daddies, and of course, the Electrical Tape…Hahaha…gawking at the costumers that people wore, or lack thereof of a costume…it all made the evening a highlight of my month I know. Two years…it’s been two fucking years…gawd I miss that night…

- 06/27/06