Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Something Good...

There really is nothing more heartwarming then to watch two people fall head over heels for eachother. Really it is something. The laughter, the giggles, the whipsering of sweet nothings. The endless smiles, that sparkle in the eyes. Tis something special. But then again that drags up the question of why I don't go out and find a lady for myself. I mean I look at those two and i feel a twinge of envy. To have something special with someone else. The truth is, I really do not want to be seeing anyone at this point in time. I dated what, two people in high school? The longest one lasted for five months, well, six technically but it was on and off that last month. I am just not big into relationships i guess. I mean there are times when i wish that i could have someone, that someone in my own life. But most of the time i realize that i am not ready. I want to be able to go off and leave this place without ever having to hurt someone. I don't know how much longer i will stay here for. That urge to leave is growing stronger as each week passes on. And my final destination also changes: London, Paris, Rome, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Tokyo, St. Petersburg, Rio de Janerio, Grand Cayman, Monte Carlo, Montreal, Sydney, Los Angeles, New York. So i mean i am a globe-trotter and it will only be a matter of time before i pack up and leave. So i mean, i am not quite sure of anyone that i have ever met, or will likely meet that would be willing to follow me to the ends of the Earth. Literally. I dunno. My mother bugs me about not dating anyone, my friends constantly bring it up. I mean, do i have crushes? Yes. But there are times when I don't have any crushes at all. And right now I am slipping into one of those times where I am not even interested in looking for anyone. I was really alone this past summer, and i was actively looking for someone. But now just look at me. I am not looking for anyone at all. Does it bother me? Hmmm, no. Just reaffirms the idea that I will have nothing to leave behind here. Do i think it would be fun to have a girlfriend? Yes it would, it would make it easier to find a dance partner when at the club, but i mean, i have a good enough time when i go that i really don't need anyone at all. Do i want to mess around with anyone? Mmmmmm, no. I mean there have been a number of opprotunites that have presented themselves where I coud have taken up the offer, but I say no to them. Ah well. I mean there are times when i want to mess around, but those come and go quite quickly. But do i think that having a girlfriend is a good thing? Yes it is. For some people they are a very good thing, a very heathy thing for them. But to me. I find that i am tied down. But alas, that is just me. Meh, maybe i will slow down eventually and will look for someone, but until then, no. No one please. Unless of course you completely knock my socks off or something and I go through an epiphany. But otherwise, I am content. I am happy with the way my life is right now. And i don't see my life improving at all if i were to bring someone seriously into it. So i don't see the point of it all in the end. Now please excuse me as I go off and listen to yet another love poem in English *pukes*. Riiiiight. Ciao!


At 1:48 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally feel the same way. it seems if you don't have someone attached to you to validate you these days, then you're under heavy scrutiny. if i'm with someone, it means i'm really interested in having a life with them. When I was with Nancy, I was really interested and we were together for 5 months. my relationships are few and far between, and I feel like I'm under scrutiny since I'm not chasing every crush. I don't even really have a crush on anyone right now. I'm enjoying being SCUM (a Self Centered Urban Male) and having a good time getting to know myself. I think you need to love yourself before you can love others.

Anywho,coffee sounds great. my number is 383-4375. this week is shaky, but let me just get my schedule for next week and we'll set something up.


At 10:21 p.m., Blogger danirae said...

So very true drew. I dont understand the point of the "two month relationship" that seems to be so dominant right now. If you want to mess around then go ahead, but playing with people emotions the way so many do is just fukin ridiculous. dating is over-rated. People should really back off the scrutiny they have of the single public. single is a great place to be. but I'll shut up now. luv ya



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