Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Two way streets

Friendships are like a two way street. You give and you take, and if the balance is maintained between the giving and the taking, well, won't that just be a grand ol' friendship. It seems that as of lately I have not been fulfilling my part of the giving. I don't call anyone, I don't initiate any plans to hang out or anything, I am it seems losing all interest. I have people constantly calling me, wondering when we are going to hang out next or just sit and chat over the phone. Sure its nice that people call me, but the truth be known, they get tired of always calling and making the plans. I used to be really on top of things in that regard. I would be just as active in calling people and making plans. But lately, well, I've certainly been lacking there. For example my dear friend Danielle, in the past four nights she has called me twice, and both times i could not talk. I said I would call her back, yet I never have. It's been something I have been meaning to do, but I just get busy doing things elsewhere. Whereas for her, it would appear as though I have no time for her, which is so not true, Danielle commands my utmost respect and I always have time for her, as she has always had time for me. It is only a matter of time before someone will get frustrated with always calling and finally just give up. Especially if someone appears as uninterested as me, which is certainly not the case. I don't want to lose her as a friend, or make her feel like a secondary friend, and its not just Danielle, but also Susan and Andrea, I can't remember the last time I talked to Andrea. It's just, I have the time to make these small outreaches, but I just don't utilize the time, I end up getting busy with reading and losing track of time or something or other. So I guess the only option really before I start pushing people away is to return to initiating those chats, and reaching out to my friends. In any case I need to get out again and just chill with people, I've been pretty introverted it would seem these last few days (I was going to say weeks, but that is not true, its only felt like weeks) and I know there are plenty of people who would disagree with that introverted part, but for me, I've been pretty much spending time with myself. Anyways, I should prolly get started with those emails, text messages and phone calls, get the word out that I have not fallen off the face of the Earth. Ciao all.


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