Sunday, February 13, 2005

What's happened.

Those who have know me best and have known me for a few years all know that I have been wanting to and have been planning to move to Montréal. It has been a longtime dream for me. Yet now I have the opportunity to move there and I am balking. I am suddenly unsure if it is really what I want. Why am I all of a sudden hesitant on an issue that I have thought about and dreamed about for so long. Perhaps it is because it is sooner than I had originally planned, but that should make for a more interesting time. Perhaps it is because of all the unknowns. Yet in the past it has been the unknowns that has helped to drive me. Perhaps it is because I will be somewhat alone. I will be living on my own for the first time. Away from the rents. Yet I will not be completely alone, I have some friends and family there already. And I want to move out soon. So what is the problem? Why am I so unsure of everything now that I am being faced with the immediate prospect of me living there by the beginning of May. It is all so confusing. Yet at the same time it isn't. I know what I want, and that is to live in Montréal. To work, attend school, and pick up French again. I took it for 8 years and I have forgotten most about what I learned. I consider Montréal the place to be, there is so much to do there, so much to experience. I don't know what there is really here in Calgary left for me to do. I mean I enjoy myself here, but I am in desperate need for change. I want to get out and experience the world. I want adventures. I want to tell my kids about the many grand adventures that I embarked on. I have already done so much, and at the moment I am feeling as if I am not living to the fullest. I seem to be missing that "joie du vie" that the people of Montréal seem to understand. I don't know. I have lots here for me. Jobs, friends, family, and opportunities. And those are the main things that are keeping me here at the moment. Yet I need to be able to go out on my own. I already am somewhat established in Montréal. A job, school, friends, family, and new opportunities (though I am not sure of what they are yet) I want to go out and experience the world, and Montréal is the perfect launching ground for that. And it seems that once again I have come to realize where I am in life...now that I have layed out my thoughts, I know what I want to do. I have traveled to many parts of the globe. Lived on two different continents, grown up in four different distinct cultures. And where do I prefer to be out of all the places I have been? Well Europe. But I am not ready for that big of a change yet, so the next best place? Quebec. Specifically Montréal. I lived in Quebec City at one point in my life. And that experience trully shaped me. At times I consider myself more a Quebecois than an Albertan, with regards to my view and opinions. And so, though my life will most radically change, I am ready. Je suis prêt à quitter Calgary et à habiter à Montréal. Il n'y aura aucun dos de rotation en ce moment. Montréal, je viens. I am ready to take my life into my hands and enjoy everything there is to it. Joie du vie. And so, good night to all of you. Ciao.

2 Comments:

At 12:36 PM, Blogger danirae said...

I am grounded from the net at home (am at school right now using this on the sly) so call me this week if ya can! luv ya drew, ttyl.

 
At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have another. Welcome andrew/

 

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