Friday, April 29, 2005

The Dating Game

Alright, and as I mentioned in my last entry, there are people crushing on me, and i am not responding to them...well, there are reasons why.
I tend to fee caged in whenever i am in a relationship with anyone. I feel as though I can't go out with whomever i want to whenever i want to. Which is a big thing. I want to be able to do my thing and not have to worry about anyone else. So yes, i am looking out solely for number one here. And i feel that if i just dated someone cuz i had a crush on them and all that, just i would likely get overly bored with them as soon as i met someone else. Which is not fair to either parties involved. I mean, yes i have crushes, but I doubt I would ever go out with any of them. On another note, I want to live life my way, and I don't want anyone to try and tame me or calm me down. Yeah, I know I am not much of a wild child to begin with, but the shit i pull sometimes would most likely have me in dumpsville so fast so it just isn't worth my time. I mean, i like having the challenge of trying to find someone to buy me a drink at the bar, and sometimes that means putting out a certain amount, which some people would likely find uncomfortable especially if i was supposed to be their boyfriend blah blah blah.
But, perhaps the thing keeping me away right now, is that I am looking for someone who will blow me off my feet. Literally, i am looking for someone that just strikes me as being trully unique and has a lot in common with me. And unfortunately i think i am looking for perfection when i date someone, not in their looks, but in their personality. I am looking for someone exactly like me, someone who can put on a smile no matter what shit is going on in their life. Someone that talks and listens. Someone that has a great taste in music...and yeah, being attractive to me at least is a big thing too. So am I just chasing a fruitless dream? Oh i hope not, cuz that would suck big time. Ah well...then again I am far far too shy when it comes to dating people also, which is another obstacle...ah well. there, now i threw out what someof my issues are with dating...oh wait, one last thing...i am not ready to settle down which is another thing. But whatever. I am done. If it makes sense, great, if not...oh well, makes sense to me. And as I said, I am looking out for number one. Wow I am in a really selfish, self-centred prickish mood today....great...er, i am at least coming across as one. Fine. Most days i am not out soleyl for myself, but on some issues, i am, like this one. There, not self centered anymore. And, Done. Ciao.

1 Comments:

At 11:51 PM, Blogger mackeydoodle said...

That doesn't sound self centered to me! You should NEVER EVER settle for anything less than what you want. You sound like a very smart guy to me. Instead of hooking up with these girls & breaking their hearts,you are living life only answering to yourself. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that! Heck, you are 18...you are just starting out in life. Make it what YOU want & do not ever settle for anything less than what you really want!!!
And when the time comes that you do commit to someone then it should be someone that "blows you away"
There...another grown up rant from Marianne!:P
So has the weather been as crappy in Calgary as it has been in Edmonton?? It freakin' snowed here on Friday!! I am def gonna be one of those people that retire & move to Arizona!!:D

 

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