What am I doing...

I believe I have come to a revelation...

I am trully a bastard who plays people like cards in a game...and I play with their minds...and with their hearts...and if you think this is referring to you, it isn't.

I mean, I have two people (that I know of personally, and apparently there are even more out there) who I am completely uninterested in, but are seemingly head over heels for me...and all that I am doing is playing with them it seems. Ya know, mackin it up at the club, and then leaving them floundering at the end of the night...i ignore calls, i ignore messages, i ignore emails and the like...

And the crazy thing is, as Mala so pointedly pointed out last night, I honestly cannot say no. I just can't. I can't break people yet. Melanie has gotten so very good at it....but alas, I am still learning that ways of that department. I can be a very cold person. And I am just afraid of really breaking somebody hard. Too hard. I am actually a very cold hard person. And a very shallow person at that. I just can't say no to their face it seems....Anyways, I seem to have lost where I was going with this...

Point of the story is, I am a bastard who leads people down the garden path, only to ditch them in the end. Perhaps that is why I am still single...perhaps who I am looking for is just too perfect...oh man, what decisions...

And well, I am expecting the backlashes to begin as this journal is available to anyone who reads my msn profile...perhaps i should change that...or perhaps not...I don't know...but...if you read this, do not bring it up with me on msn, or else i will refuse to acknowledge your presence.

Ciao all...