Sunday, June 12, 2005

What am I doing...

I believe I have come to a revelation...

I am trully a bastard who plays people like cards in a game...and I play with their minds...and with their hearts...and if you think this is referring to you, it isn't.

I mean, I have two people (that I know of personally, and apparently there are even more out there) who I am completely uninterested in, but are seemingly head over heels for me...and all that I am doing is playing with them it seems. Ya know, mackin it up at the club, and then leaving them floundering at the end of the night...i ignore calls, i ignore messages, i ignore emails and the like...

And the crazy thing is, as Mala so pointedly pointed out last night, I honestly cannot say no. I just can't. I can't break people yet. Melanie has gotten so very good at it....but alas, I am still learning that ways of that department. I can be a very cold person. And I am just afraid of really breaking somebody hard. Too hard. I am actually a very cold hard person. And a very shallow person at that. I just can't say no to their face it seems....Anyways, I seem to have lost where I was going with this...

Point of the story is, I am a bastard who leads people down the garden path, only to ditch them in the end. Perhaps that is why I am still single...perhaps who I am looking for is just too perfect...oh man, what decisions...

And well, I am expecting the backlashes to begin as this journal is available to anyone who reads my msn profile...perhaps i should change that...or perhaps not...I don't know...but...if you read this, do not bring it up with me on msn, or else i will refuse to acknowledge your presence.

Ciao all...

1 Comments:

At 9:54 PM, Blogger mackeydoodle said...

Man don't be so hard on yerself!! It is hard to say no to peoples faces....and ahit...I ignore people all the time. I sometimes think that I may be a selfish bitch too...but hey, we are who we are!
And let's honestly face it...even if we don't care much for someone...it does help the ego if they are infatuating over us.....no?

 

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